James & Jenna
Part II - I See You

    The way the light of the moon bounces off her perfect skin, her voice, her hair, her eyes, the way she smells, her perfect hour glass body. Not to mention she's stacked like a fucking goddess. I don't understand how someone so small can have such a nice ass and the tits to go with it. I've known her for fifteen years. Now here we are. Twenty-seven years old and still best friends. The question.... The big question. Does she even see me like I see her? We decided a long time ago that we would just be friends and nothing else. She was scared of it, I wasn't. I want her now, just as much as I did back then. She's the girl that makes the earth stop spinning and we fly into outer space. Still looking up at the sky, she continues to talk.

    "It would amaze you. The things I see that you can't. Beautiful actually. Step one, just take a closer look."
    "I see.... The most amazing, brown haired, green eyed woman. She's the most beautiful thing I've seen. Do you see it?"
    Without even a pause in time, only bright eyes and a smile, "I see you."
    "Do you?"
    "Yes. I see the most handsome man. With hair the color of walnuts. His eyes? Blue, like a cloudless sky. He's tall and has muscles like a Spartan."
    "Shut the fuck up with Spartan."
    "If the washer ever breaks I could use your six pack as a wash board."
    "No. You'll go find a nice fucking rock to slap the clothes against."
    "You're so stupid."
    "These abs are for admiring Jenna. Not for bitch work, like washing clothes."

    Jenna's mouth falls open and then closes to an almost evil grin. I said it Jen. Bitch work.

    "Washing clothes is bitch work?"
    "Bitch.... Work."
    "Oh! Okay! I'll remember that when I do laundry on Saturday. You'll be the one looking for a rock to slap your clothes against."
    "Fuck all that." Big smile, engaged. "I'll use my Spartan abs as a wash board."

    There's that smile of hers I love so much. Her gaze softens and her smile fades. Was that a little bottom lip bite I saw? I think it was. Engaging the smile. Works every time. Something is different. What's different?

    "You okay, Jen?"
    "Yeah."
    I sigh at her answer. "Fifteen years Jenna. We both can read each other like a fucking book. Talk to me."
    "Fifteen years. When a boy and girl are friends for that long, they sometimes get.... how can I explain this? The whole, you're like a brother to me. Make sense?"
    "Yeah."
    "I never got that way with you. You never felt like a brother to me."
    "Right?"
    "When I was in New York and we didn't see each other for almost two months. It.... I.... Never mind."
    "Drove you insane to no end?"

    She looks at me with wide eyes. Yes, Jen. I felt that way too.

    "You have no idea, James. I cried myself to sleep. I said, fuck this. Paid to end my year lease and I came back. To you."
    "You came back four years ago. Why didn't you tell me this then."
    "You have a girlfriend. It would have been the most selfish thing I could ever do. Take that happiness away from you. You've known...."
    I cut her off mid-sentence. "I would always be happier with you Jenna. This relationship was still new at the time. We could of ended things and walked away with neither of us being hurt."
    "And here you are. Four years later and she's in Brooklyn planning a wedding. Your wedding. We both know you're settling James."

    She's right. Dana is hot as fuck, but she's not Jen. Jenna is nice. She's the most amazing person you'll ever meet. She brings the joy in everything. Dana was born tough. Straight from Brooklyn. Long dark hair, dark brown eyes, and these thick thighs that'll kill a man. Italian through and through. She's a bitch. The beginning of our relationship she was great. She's a dancer and she came out here to Los Angeles for a fucking Chris Brown music video. She basically saved up enough money to live here for a year. This house me and Jenna live in is her house. Her graduation present from her parents. Her dad bought the house and remodeled the whole fucking thing for her. Dana lived here too. Up to, about seven months ago. Dana "borrowed" a necklace that Jen's grandma gave her and she lost it. Long story short: big fight. Dana went back to Brooklyn for now. The money she had saved went to a new BMW and a shopping spree at Sephora. My Spartan abs are there because I'm a personal trainer. Dana, being a dancer, she's in great shape. She needed money to pay rent, she came into the gym looking for a job. That's how we met.
    I took her in. She took care of me. Made me dinner every night all of that. If you're confused as to why Jenna had no idea another woman was living in her house, this is because all of this happen within a week. I hadn't had the chance to tell Jenna yet. The day I called Jenna, her phone went to voice mail. All day long. Voice mail. The following morning Jenna walks through the front door with a duffle bag and a big ass box. Dana flips out thinking Jenna is some random woman walking in. I had to explain to both girls what's up here. I told Dana straight up, Jenna has been in my life for a long, long time. She's not going anywhere. If you play the, "it's me or her" card, it's going to be her over you. If you don't like the sound of that, right there is the door. Don't let it hit you where the good lord split you. Jenna being Jenna, the kind person she is. She was okay with Dana staying there. I mean, she thought Dana was fucking stupid for wasting money on something as dumb as a car and makeup that she doesn't know how to wear. But, she saw I was happy. Like she said, "It would of been the most selfish thing I could ever do. Take that happiness away from you." Dana liked Jenna. She understood that Jenna wasn't going anywhere and she was fine with that. She chose to stay here with me. I didn't twist her arm and make her stay. She stayed on her own.
    My relationship with Dana is not perfect. We argue like every other couple. But, the last year our relationship has been burnt to almost nothing. Starting an argument with me and yelling at me, and saying I disgust her in the middle of a crowded five star restaurant here in NoHo. That was the beginning of it. I told her we didn't need a second bottle of wine and all the sudden I was the worst person alive. Keep in mind, this dinner was for Jenna. She just sold her first book and received her first check. Dinner was on her. She wanted to celebrate. Jenna walked out and left me with the check. I don't blame her one bit. "We both know you're settling James." I was lonely and missed Jenna. Yeah, I settled with Dana. 100% Why am I still with her? I have no idea. Not a one.

    "Yeah. I am settling."
    "Why?"
    "Because you don't see me like I see you. We are not teenagers anymore Jenna. You seriously still can't be afraid of this. If I was going to leave you at all, I'd be gone now. I came with you here to LA. I spent that whole month in the hospital with you after you got in that car wreck. I never left your side. It's always been you. You then, you now, and you fucking tomorrow, until my last god damn breath."
    "Would it be selfish now?"
    "What?"
    "Would it be selfish now?"

    My heart feels like it's about to beat out of my chest and smack Jenna in the face, in the best way possible. I can hear her breathing quicken, I see her chest move with it. Like Nike, just do it. I did. Put my hand on the back of her neck and pull her in for a kiss. Her lips are as soft as they look. Taste as amazing as I thought they would. Everything faded. The noise of the street faded. Everything around us faded. Dana faded.
   
    "It would never be selfish Jenna."


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